Perfection, or Why You're Probably Doing Fine

Last weekend, I drove down to Indianapolis to spend a day with my awesome goddaughter, her awesome mom, and her 3-month-old twin brother and sister. I brought Anne with me because she's going through a really intense mamma-only-please phase, nursing a lot, and still not sleeping through the night, and I just thought it would be terrible for all involved to leave her overnight with Daddy. Anne and I made the same trip almost exactly a year ago, and I kept being bowled over by how different it felt this time around.

Last time, Anne was only 4-5 months old, and couldn't quite make it through a 3-hour car ride without needing to nurse. So we had to stop. And then she didn't want to go back in her seat. Which made the trip more like 4.5 hours, with the last half hour spent white-knuckling as she fussed in the back. She was still napping 3 times a day, and the way I was handling that was to lie down in bed and nurse her to sleep for every nap. And bedtime. Which didn't bother me in the slightest when I was at home, because, you know, I only have one baby, and what else was I supposed to be doing? But when I got there, I started feeling so ashamed that I didn't have it more together, that I hadn't trained my daughter to need me less, that I had to keep going in time after time when all I wanted to do was hang out with my dear friend.

This time, we made the trip in 3 hours flat, no stops, my big 16-month-old playing with toys, reading books, and eating snacks until we got there. She only takes one nap a day now, and I planned the trip around it so that she didn't actually have to nap in a crib while we were there. I nursed her and put her down in a crib for bedtime, and then was able to chat with Sarah for 3 hours before we decided to call it quits. Anne spent most of the rest of the night between me and the wall as we shared a twin mattress. We've hit a pretty good groove, and I felt confident and happy.

I kept thinking back to how incompetent, embarrassed, and full of self-doubt I had felt a year before. I wished I could tell my past self that I was doing fine! That I was giving my baby exactly what she needed. That I should just continue to trust my instincts, that this phase would pass pretty quickly. To pay more attention to her cues, and less to what I thought she should be doing, what I thought others thought of me.

I suspect that this is a universal feeling among women, especially mothers, and it all boils down to shame. We feel a tremendous pressure to be effortlessly perfect, to look great, smile, keep it all together, and to do all this without breaking a sweat. When motherhood turns out to be harder than we thought, when at five months in, we haven't deciphered every line of our baby's code, when we feel utterly out of control, the shame spiral starts.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of hearing the amazing women in my life apologize for the areas of perceived weakness in their lives. I want to applaud them for trying, for striving, for showing up every day and giving it their best. I can't stand the look of guilt I see on my friends' faces when they "admit" to one of the following:

• their 1-year-old still waking up several times a night
• their 3-year-old not being fully potty trained yet
• offering a bottle of milk to a 1-year-old to encourage her to sleep past 5am
• needing Elmo to entertain a 1-year-old so they can take a shower
• their house not being completely clean all the time
• their inability to lose the rest of their baby weight
• the fact that their toddler won't eat anything but noodles and milk

The problem, I think, is that the person judging us lives in our heads. We judged other moms before we became moms. Because it is impossible to imagine how hard this job is. There is no way to do everything right. Almost weekly, especially at the beginning, I found myself doing things I vowed I would never do when I was a mom. We are far too hard on ourselves.

Do you love your kid? Are you doing your best to meet their needs? Are you doing what you need to to keep yourself sane? You deserve a freaking medal. Motherhood is hard. It doesn't always feel natural. It doesn't always look great. But it is immensely rewarding, and could be even more so if we would lighten up on ourselves and each other.

"Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness. I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

What Lent Looks Like {Our Domestic Church}

I have really been looking forward to Lent this year. Maybe it's because this winter has just been soul-crushingly long, cold, and snowy, and Ash Wednesday is an early sign of spring. Or maybe it's because motherhood is like a magnifying glass on my faults, making it painfully obvious how much I need my Savior. I'm tying Lenten spiritual cleaning in with my spring cleaning efforts in my home, so that by the time the warm weather rolls around, I won't have to spend any more time on indoor projects than absolutely necessary!

Do you decorate your home for Lent? Putting up a few things around your home (the simpler the better) is a great way to remind yourself of your Lenten commitments as you go through your day. It can also present an opportunity to share your faith with neighbors and friends. It helps us to unite our families to the greater church and really get into the penitential spirit.

Throughout Lent, we will forego the blessing of fresh flowers in our home as we wait for Easter. Here are the other simple little things I put up around the house:

1. A plain grapevine wreath (JoAnn Fabrics, $4.99), with a strip of purple fabric attached. Plain and simple, a reminder that Jesus is the Vine, and we are the branches, and that spring is coming.

2. "Sackcloth" (burlap, $3.99/yard at JoAnn's) and purple on the mantel.

3. A normal fixture in our home, but this little succulent is a desert-loving plant. How appropriate as we enter the desert with Jesus!

4. Desert centerpiece on our dinner table. Burlap, a purple placemat, a plate with our Lenten devotional on top, open to the day's page, and stones and candles. We've been reading a devotion aloud during breakfast each day, since my husband can't always be home for dinner. It's a great way to connect as a family first thing in the day.

5. Purple shrouds on all the crosses and crucifixes.

6. A Lenten message on the chalkboard that hangs in our stairway.

That's it!  What does your domestic church look like this season?

Homemade Sugar Scrub!

I ran out of my normal facial exfoliator, and instead of spending a bunch of money to replace it, I wondered if I could make something at home that might do the trick! Total and complete success. So much that I made two kinds - lemon for a hand scrub after doing the dishes, and lavender for baths. The recipe is so easy, and uses things you are very likely to have in your home already! 

Lemon Sugar Scrub

1 1/3 cups regular white sugar
2/3 cup olive oil
10-15 drops lemon essential oil
4 Vitamin E capsules, split open and squeezed in (about 1 teaspoon)

Lavender Sugar Scrub

1 1/3 cups regular white sugar
2/3 cup coconut oil
10 drops lavender essential oil
4 Vitamin E capsules, split open and squeezed in (about 1 teaspoon)
1 tablespoon lavender flowers

I'm looking forward to trying some other flavors soon - grapefruit! lime + coconut! lemongrass! Any suggestions?

Confession + Clean Floors

painting: "Sparkly Clean" by Leslie Graff

A couple of weeks ago, I went to confession. As usual, it had been quite a while since the last time and, as usual, I cried during and felt awesome after.

Last week, I spent a solid hour cleaning all the floors in my house. The wood floors got swept, then Swiffered, then mopped. The carpets got vacuumed. I wore my 11-month-old the whole time. I was soaked with sweat, but my floors were C-L-E-A-N.

Last Saturday, I got to church 10 minutes earlier than I needed to, and confessions were happening, and no one was there*. I had been acting like a spoiled jerk all day, so I hopped on in. No tears, no giant revelations, just.... Maintenance. Sprucing up.

I wish this wasn't such a revelation, but regular cleaning, whether of your floors of your soul, is easier. It gives you the opportunity to pay more attention to details, and to build on the clean that you achieved last week.

*You guys, why is no one there? Sacramental grace, forgiveness, wise counsel, a fresh start, the Creator and Savior of your soul are waiting.

...in one God, the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible.

One God. There is only one. Yet how many things reach god-like status in our lives? Those things, whatever they may be, seem so silly and trivial compared to the maker of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible. Maybe it's because God's work is on such a grander scale that it's hard for us to even contemplate, much less attain a relationship with the Maker. But really, what do I have to gain from expending my time, energy, and brainpower on insignificant pursuits? I often forget to take the long view, and instead get caught up in the moment, basing my actions on what will best serve me that day. Living in the moment can be a positive and virtuous endeavor, but I do see in my own life how it sometimes trips up my ability to focus on the prize. "Set your heart on the higher gifts, on the things that come from your Maker in Heaven" (1 Cor. 12) comes to mind. What would it be like, if we all lived every day with the assurance that the end of the story is good? If we made decisions based on the things that will matter at the end of life, instead of whatever might bring the most pleasure to the day? 

I spent several years when I moved to Chicago working with the elderly, and the faith I saw among bodily pain and decay was truly inspiring. I always got the sense that these folks knew with assurance, although this phase was challenging, that the end was good - and it was coming. In spite of constant physical ailments, loneliness after the loss of spouses and friends, and inability to carry out daily tasks that once seemed mundane, I saw peace. I recall being at Mass with my grandpa a few years ago, watching him struggling to kneel, and thinking "Wow. Never has it been so clear that we were not made for this earth, but for something much better." I can't say I'm entirely eager to reach old age, but I can't help but be in awe of the way that age seems to strip away the little things, and leave just what matters. May we always be conscious of the things in our lives that are of our One God who is almighty!

Catholic 101: I believe...

Today, 12 years after the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, we are praying for all the people who gave their lives to help, and those whose lives are still affected by this tragedy. As our country stands on the precipice of yet another war, we pray for peace in Syria, for wisdom for those God has placed as leaders in our country and around the world, and especially for the next generation - for those people we are raising right now - that they would be a generation of peacemakers.

These two little words would have been easy to skip on my way to what seem like meatier sections of the Creed, but without these words, none of the rest of it would matter. Without "I believe," a list of the tenets of a faith as beautiful as ours would be just that: a list.

I tend to take belief for granted. I was raised believing in God. My parents encouraged me to see His fingerprints in every corner of the world I lived in, taught me how to talk to Him and lean on Him when I was hurting, to praise Him when I was joyful. I am deeply grateful that I have felt the presence of God so closely for my entire life. On my journey toward the Catholic Church, as I read books that made me question many of my assumptions about faith, I felt God nudging me closer to Him, closer to the truth.

We are each created with an instinctive drive to search for the ultimate meaning of life. God reveals Himself to us, and we respond in faith: "I believe." Here's the tricky part, though: "Whoever says 'I believe' says 'I pledge myself to what we believe" (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1994 edition, page 51). Belief is not just something you say. It's who you are, and how you live. Every day, the implications of what we believe ripple through every part of our lives. The creed is merely a symbol of a lived reality.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God--not because of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." -Ephesians 2:8-9

What We Wore Sunday

We are back from our summer hiatus, linking up with Fine Linen and Purple!

It is so exciting to be part of a growing parish. We've been attending regularly at St. Gregory the Great for about a year, though I was lucky enough to meet Patrick, the music director, and start singing with the choir occasionally when I moved to Chicago in 2007. We love it! The music is fantastic, the priests and staff are amazing, the people are friendly, and there is a lot going on for young people and young families. Our Moms and Tots group meets weekly (at least!) for play, and we're starting to grow even further! This Sunday was our first Moms and Tots Family Picnic, out in the back yard of the rectory. What a fun day! Perfect weather, lots of families sitting on the grass sharing food and chatting, kids running around, and cicadas being thoroughly examined... I've attended lots of churches in my life, and I am so incredibly blessed by this one. Thank you, God!

 Our photographer was not aware that we was supposed to be taking an outfit shot. Oh well. You get what you get. :)

New Baby, New Business

Alright, my fellow blogger has motivated me to check back in too! It was a weird summer, filled with chasing a toddler, morning sickness, classes, morning sickness, learning how to start a business, morning sickness, house hunting, and finally feeling a bit more like myself after about 6 weeks of living on saltines. I think my poor husband nearly gave up hope of ever having a home cooked meal again, as I sure couldn't do it and also couldn't let him cook with anything remotely fragrant. But that's in the past, until next time. By some miracle, I have succeeded in opening my business, Kat's Cradle Sleep Consulting, and growing a (currently) turnip-sized human in my belly. Whew. Life is good. I always wondered how one went about parenting a highly energetic toddler while in the throes of early pregnancy, and after going through it, I can say the answer is...I haven't a clue. How we survived, apart from the help of friends and family, is a mystery to me. I vaguely recall hazy memories of summer mornings staggering across the street to the park and letting Ryan loose to run in the grass while I sat and gagged. It's a good thing he finds sticks and passing dogs so fascinating. Anyway, like all things, that phase passed and life is pretty pleasant once again. We get to find out in a few weeks if we're having a boy or a girl! And the business, so far, has been incredibly rewarding. It's just amazing to support families on their journey to joyful parenting through rest for everyone! I especially love hearing how happy the kids become once they are well-rested. I can't wait for more of the same with upcoming clients, and feel very blessed to have started a career which will allow lifelong flexibility as a mom.

Well, I'm going to take my boy's nap time to laze around for awhile. Pregnancy is, if nothing else, a free pass to relax in my opinion! Looking forward to breaking open the Creed with our readers in the coming weeks!

7 Quick Takes

Linking up with Jen at Conversion Diary!

Happy fall!! I took the summer completely off from blogging; too much living and traveling around to check in! But, in typical fashion, fall leaves me feeling like I need a new project (I am always nostalgic for back-to-school), so I'm back with some fresh energy and new ideas!

1.



Starting next week, look for a new weekly series called Catholic 101. We're going to work through the Creed phrase by phrase, first. I've still found myself fumbling over the words of the new translation at Mass, and after almost two years, that's just ridiculous. Hopefully this helps. We're looking forward to digging into our faith by going back to basics!

2.



The Well-Read Mom. Do you know about this already? I am so excited I could just jump up and down, shouting from the rooftops. What a great idea!! And so easy - they've done every bit of the prep work for you, all you have to do is grab a book and a few of your mom friends. Do you have a moms group at your parish? Why not introduce this program? Thanks to Molly for bringing my attention to this idea!

3. I'm back on the Weight Watchers and Jillian Michaels wagon. My goal is to get to my happy weight by Anne's first birthday. I've got two months, and I'm almost there. Back in April, I ordered 3 Jillian DVDs, the absolute best of which is Ripped in 30. Seriously, if you're looking to get in shape with a minimal time commitment (20 minutes!), this is the DVD for you. Get after it!

4. I'd like to start memorizing more Scripture, especially verses that would be helpful as prayers when I'm having a frustrating moment, and verses that would help me to defend and explain my faith to others. I have many memories of my mom quoting Scripture to us when we were growing up, and I'd love for my kids to have those memories of me as well. I found a great book by Patrick Madrid called "150 Bible Verses Every Catholic Should Know," and I'm excited to start there.

5. Did you see this post from a mom of teenage boys, to teenage girls? I thought it was great, and was slightly bewildered when I came across a lot of negative backlash the next day. I guess it was maybe too simplistic, but the idea was good. As usual, however, Simcha has straightened the whole issue out. Take a peek at her take.

6. Pope Francis has asked us to observe Saturday, September 7 (tomorrow!) as a day of fasting and prayer for Syria. My first thought was, "Oh, man, why did he have to pick a Saturday? I was going to make waffles, and we're going to the Chipotle Cultivate Festival in Lincoln Park, and there's college football on!" And then I realized that is precisely why Saturday is a good day to fast. If it had been today, it would have been exactly no sacrifice for me. I found this article to be a great primer on Syria, if you find yourself as woefully uninformed as I did.

7. We had a great summer. Lots of travel, family and friends, sun and sand. Lots of milestones. Suddenly this baby of mine is transforming into a toddler, crawling, pulling up, eating absolutely everything in sight, cracking me up and amazing me. I am so thankful that I get to soak up her bright personality every day!



Have a great weekend! GO BLUE!!!

Ask and You Will Receive

"Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
Luke 11:9

I wanted to write a quick post because this Gospel really got me thinking on Sunday. I was coming from a horrible week starting with my little boy fighting a nasty virus, a parking ticket, and then the disturbing hassle of having my wallet stolen while shopping. Things do seem to come in threes, don't they? Needless to say, I was feeling pretty discouraged by the time Sunday rolled around. 

I almost laughed when I heard this reading, because all I had been thinking all week was "I don't think I'm a bad person...why is all this happening?" and I hadn't felt too inclined to ask God for anything, since it seems like all this stuff happens whether we like it or not! I wasn't angry that He allowed it or anything, just mildly annoyed and having trouble seeing the point of prayers of supplication. But then in Mass, I realized, I can ask! Not only can I ask, but I can be sure that the answer will be the best one, even if it's disguised as a big huge hassle. Instead of praying that my wallet never gets stolen again, I felt inclined to pray just to be okay with the way things are. Surprisingly, what dawned on me in that moment was that I'm so glad life isn't one big, easy cake walk. Each of us is formed in our strengths through the challenges we overcome. Every one of us has faced difficulty, and overcoming those is what makes all the people I love, who they are. I think of all the people I admire, and none of them have sailed through life on a rainbow. Quite the opposite. 

I went into church feeling discouraged and beaten, and walked out grateful. What a blessing!

What We Wore Sunday + A Memorable Moment

Linking this post with Fine Linen and Purple.

Summer heat has arrived big time! My family had such a nice time Sunday morning going to breakfast at a charming neighborhood patio, taking a long walk to admire the beautiful gardens in the streets around St. Gregory's, and then a beautiful Mass as always. Since choir is on hiatus for the summer, I even get the pleasure of my husband's company during Mass and some help keeping Ryan quiet!

Speaking of Ryan...he put on probably the funniest show I've seen out of him yet in his 14 months of life. When we walked to the back of church after Mass, he spotted the table with a stack of Catholic newspapers on top. He stood up on his little tip-toes and grabbed the top paper, then toddled confidently over to where the priest was talking with a parishioner and shoved the paper into Father's hand. He then proceeded to return to the table, reach to the top of the stack, grab the topmost paper, and walk it over to the priest, about 15 times, until the whole stack was gone. By the time he got to the fifth or sixth paper, he had quite a crowd gathered around! He was really sure that Father Paul needed those papers.

Elizabeth, bless her, cantored both Masses Sunday morning. We did find a second to snap this photo while my son was busy delivering his newspapers!

I don't have specifics for these outfits right now, but summer dress season it is!

What We Wore Sunday + Sunday Best

We were both at the same Mass this week, so we got a photo together!! Linking up with Fine Linen and Purple and Camp Patton!



:: Elizabeth ::

Can I confess something? I can only very rarely recount what happened in a homily. I feel awful about it, but try as I might, I can barely remember the homily by the time I'm walking out of Mass. Maybe it stems from being raised in a church where we had Bibles out, and pens to take notes on the bulletin during sermons? Anyway, it's inexcusable, and I need to get better. Have any of you ever struggled with homilamnesia? How did you get over it?

This is all to say that I have nothing thoughtful to offer in terms of Mass reflections, so let's just get to the fluffy stuff, eh?

Cardigan: LOFT
Cami: Pea in the Pod (nursing)
Skirt: Lands End
Wedges: Anne Klein Sport

Mass grade for Anne: A+ (she hung out with Daddy while I sang, and I didn't hear a peep!)

:: Kathleen ::

Dress: Ann Taylor
Sandals: Guess

What I Wore Sunday + Sunday Best

Linking up with Fine Linen and Purple and Camp Patton!

We were out in the suburbs to see my sister-in-law's new apartment today, and we did Mass and brunch suburbia-style (by which I mean we drove a lot... haha). Her new place is lovely, and I'm super excited to have her close!

I've been being hit over the head with similar messages of self-gift this week, both in my DIY retreat and in the readings this morning. I'm still working to boil down my thoughts into a reflection about the retreat, so stay tuned; I am learning a lot, and feel like I'm being stretched outside my comfort zone. But the idea of the loaves and fishes this morning was right in the theme. God is never outdone in generosity; He asks us to give everything we have, which seems like such a risk, doesn't it? But then he multiplies and multiplies and multiplies what we give to Him, and amazingly, the leftovers measure more than we had to start with!

Working on faith to trust that in my life; somehow, it's still not easy.

The outfit this week (why is it so chilly?):

T-shirt: Target

Jacket: Old Navy

Scarf: Target

Skirt: Target (Maternity)

Sandals: Papillio (Birkenstock) via Zulily

Jewelry courtesy of a girl I used to babysit :-)

Props to my husband for getting my girl to smile for the camera!

Mass behavior:

Anne: A. She tolerated being passed around to grandparents & aunt like an absolute champ, and then actually nursed with some focus; at almost 7 months it is getting realllllllly hard to hold this girl's attention unless we are at home, and when she's hungry and distracted she is not that fun.

What I Wore Sunday, and Reflections on Corpus Christi

Linking up for this post with Fine Linen and Purple!

Today's Gospel of the loaves and fish was a familiar one, but the homily gave me a brand-new way of looking at it which makes it so relevant to all of us. The choir's Alleluia was resounding and beautiful, setting the stage for a powerful reading. In the homily, the priest asked us to consider what it takes to really appreciate a dining experience, as opposed to just eating to get it over with, and one of the elements he mentioned was preparation for all aspects of the meal. The challenge was to prepare our hearts for the Banquet that we receive at each Mass, so as to receive the fullness of grace in the Eucharist. Such a simple message, but one that I needed to hear. How often do I walk into Mass quickly, huffing and puffing with a diaper bag in one arm and a toddler in the other, thanking my lucky stars we arrived in one piece (my husband sings every week and has to arrive early, so Ryan and I make our way to Mass on our own). Preparation isn't usually at the forefront of my mind these days, but it should be. This hour in Mass is the most important hour of the week! So, thank you, Father, for reminding me of such a fundamental truth.

On a cute note, Ryan sat on the floor, turning the pages of the hymnal and singing "aaaaahhhh". Every once in awhile he'd stop to find his Dad in the choir, point triumphantly, and shout "Dada!". I still lose it every time. His joy is a sight to behold!

Now, for what I wore (I don't shop much, but this is pretty typical of what I can scrounge up in my closet):

Sweater: Express
Tank: Gilligan & O'Malley
Skirt: Merona by Target
Sandals: Kelly & Katie from DSW

Peace Within

I'm writing to check in, lest it seems that I have disappeared! Not exactly, but I did recently begin an online course, which is my first attempt at anything academic in quite awhile. It feels like a whole new territory: juggling class, reading, and homework with the daily ins and outs of having a rambunctious toddler in the house (two on my nanny days). Needless to say, what "free time" I have has mostly involved this new venture. But, like anything, even an exciting new pursuit needs sanity breaks, and so I am thrilled to be writing again.

What's new of late? Well, my little boy turned one in April, and with that milestone I officially have a little walker in the house! Toddling, crashing into everything, but so determined to get everywhere on foot. Thank goodness for summer and a big huge park across the street! I have also come to a point - finally - where I can sense some peace in my heart at the thought of adding to our family in the near future. Besides my utter fear after a traumatic birth the first time around, we had decided it would be prudent to try and wait until my husband got on the career path he was aiming for. Now that we have that piece in place, it seems a little easier to envision another child in the picture. I have come to the realization that no matter how scared I feel at the prospect of being pregnant again, it will probably require having another human being inside me for real love to enter the picture and cast out the fear. Plus, I know that I am very, very lucky to be able to conceive and bear children, and that's nothing to take lightly. I would love to give my son the gift of siblings. So, another baby may or may not be imminent, but it's a relief to finally feel some peace about the whole thing.

I'll write more soon. A blessed Memorial Day to all!

What I Wore Sunday

Happy Feast of the Holy Trinity!! Linking up with Fine Linen and Purple.

We attended the vigil Mass again, so this is technically what I wore Saturday. I'm one of the cantors at our parish, and I love love love serving in that way. I've been a singer my whole life (studied voice performance in college, currently sing with the Chicago Symphony Chorus), and I have never enjoyed using my gifts so much as I do as a volunteer in our parish, helping to create a meaningful, reverent liturgy. It's so fulfilling! It also gives me a chance to really focus; usually I'm sitting with my squirmy daughter, and I'm still having trouble paying attention to anything else but her. My husband likes having that quality time with her, too. Win-win-win.

Today I'm beginning a do-it-yourself retreat in preparation for Marian consecration to Jesus. The book is called 33 Days to Morning Glory, and I'm ending the retreat on June 27, the feast of Our Lady of Perpetual Help (or should I say "haaaaalp"?). I thought that would be a good one for moms; perpetual job, perpetual help? And also it's the next Marian feast and I wanted to get started! I'm going to post reflections here, so stay tuned! And let me know if you're reading along!

And now, the purpose of the post:

Details, top to bottom:
Necklace: cross from my hubby, St. Gerard medal from my pastor (just before Anne was born)
Cardigan: Merona via Target, several years ago
T-shirt: Cynthia Rowley via Marshall's
Belt: Target (it has a cool tribal-looking pattern... on the back.)
Skirt: Studio West via Zulily
Shoes: C. Label via Zulily

Happy Memorial Day!

What I Wore Sunday

Linking up for the first time with Fine Linen and Purple!

This weekend we were all at Notre Dame celebrating my sister-in-law's graduation from college. CONGRATULATIONS, CAITI!!! We are so excited for her, and even more excited that she's going to graduate school in the Chicago suburbs! Mass was on Saturday afternoon, and I couldn't help but think how perfect it is to be celebrating graduation on Pentecost. I could practically see the tongues of flame coming to rest over the mortarboards on all the graduates' heads. We also had the privilege of hearing Timothy Cardinal Dolan of New York speak at commencement; his speech was very moving, and he spoke so tenderly of Our Lady.

Our duds were decidedly more fancy than usual given the special occasion, and here's the best pic I could find:

Navy dress: Ralph Lauren via Marshall's (faux wrap = perfect for nursing)
Baby dress: Target!

...and nothing else is pictured. I'll do better next time, I promise.

He who made the promise is trustworthy.

Therefore, brothers and sisters, since through the blood of Jesus
we have confidence of entrance into the sanctuary
by the new and living way he opened for us through the veil, that is, his flesh,
and since we have a great high priest over the house of God.
let us approach with a sincere heart and in absolute trust,
with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience
and our bodies washed in pure water.
Let us hold unwaveringly to our confession that gives us hope,
for he who made the promise is trustworthy.
-Hebrews 10:19-23

The above portion of the second reading from the Feast of the Ascension yesterday reminded me of a recurring thought I've been having over the past couple of weeks. In difficult moments with my daughter, I find myself wishing I was armed with the promises of Christ; bits of memorized Scripture that I could quote aloud to myself when I feel my own strength is not cutting it. I have a few great ones at my disposal: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! All things work together for good for those that love Him! The Lord is my strength and my song! But I wish I had more. I wish the promises of God were written on my heart, so that when I felt overwhelmed, I could just speak the Psalms aloud, or hear St. Paul's words of encouragement.

Instead of just wishing, I'd like to do something about it! I'd like to dig in deeper, to read Scripture daily, and to work on memorizing some passages that will come to my mind when all that seems to come now is, "Help!" Not that God can't answer that prayer, too. But He gave us His word for a reason, right? What a wonderful gift, and how sad to leave it on a shelf gathering dust!

What Scripture passages are most encouraging to you in difficult moments? I'd like to start a "to-memorize" list. What do you think I should include?

Not For This Earth

The whole country is feeling totally overwhelmed and crushed by the many tragic events of last week. It's times like these that reinforce what we already know, that having kids in a world like this is serious stuff. 

Why would we want more people to worry about, more people to subject to such horror? It's easy to understand why, for so many, the mere idea of bringing children into such a violent and inhumane society is unthinkable. I know a number of people who claim to never want kids for this reason. 

This life is a broken, broken road: thank God we have the next one to look forward to. For whatever reason, we are called to be in the world for awhile, and to make our time count. But it helps to remember, in times like these, that that's not all. Acknowledging the smallness of earthly things might be the best argument I know for being open to having children. We have to remember that our kids are so much more than little bodies in a terrifying world. They are eternal souls. And so, in creating them, regardless of the amount of time they spend on an earth rife with sorrow, we can still give them the greatest gift. Life and love unbounded for all eternity.

I have a friend who lost a family member this week in the tragedy in Texas. I don't know much about him, but I know that he died a hero, and that he had a small child at home. What incredible sadness, and what a wonderful legacy. Because of the many people he helped and because he gave a child life, this man will continue to live on in his family and in his town. I see courage exemplified in many ways in a man I never knew.

One thing is for sure. We were not made for this earth. Sometimes it's a beautiful place and sometimes it's a disaster, which brings it all back to my favorite word: perspective. How often I forget and lose perspective, but it all makes so much more sense when we keep an eye on the eternal.

Easter Tidings

Just checking in to say hello and Happy Easter season! I, for one, am pretty excited to finally be out of the desert of Lent and into a time of birth and new life. No matter what I renounce or commit to for Lent, each year God has some plans of His own to throw into the mix, and it is always a greater challenge than I expect. Two years ago, it was a rocky patch during engagement and marriage preparations. Last year, Lent was my third trimester of pregnancy, with a due date of Easter Sunday (the birth date turned out to be quite awhile later than the due date, but that's a story for another time!). And this Lent, of course, was rife with trials of its own, starting with the whole family sharing a brutal stomach bug, and ending with some great challenges in the practice of NFP. But, it looks like we've made it into the next season relatively intact! Easter arrived as always, with great joy and alleluias. My husband and I even made it down to Florida for a few days for our first baby-free vacation.

Spring has yet to arrive in full swing in Chicago, but the grass in the park is noticeably greener, and all the rain does seem to be giving way to some tiny crocuses and daffodils. Easter comes so appropriately at this time of seasonal transition. Just as winter has a stark beauty of its own, so Lent prepares the way for this season of joy. A blessed Easter time to all!